Judgments: Limiting or Empowering
Over the past two weeks, we've explored assumptions and expectations—what they are, where they originate, and how to use them effectively. This week, the focus shifts to judgments. Judgment is defined as the process of forming an opinion or evaluation by discerning and comparing. To discern is to show insight and understanding, while to compare means to estimate, measure, or note similarities and differences.
By combining these definitions, we see that judgment involves forming opinions or evaluations by gaining insight, understanding, and assessing the similarities or differences between two or more elements. This process is crucial because our judgments often stem from comparisons between new experiences and our own beliefs or past experiences.
Assumptions and expectations play a significant role in shaping our judgments. Our ability to judge objectively is compromised when we approach conversations or situations with limited beliefs, negative assumptions, or rigid expectations. I’m not saying that assumptions and expectations should be entirely avoided—they can help us navigate reality more effectively. However, unchecked, they can restrict our capacity to remain open-minded and objective.
We’ve all experienced the sting of being judged by someone else. In those moments, we may think, “It doesn’t matter what I do or say; this person has already made up their mind about me.” Because of this, we often commit to living intentionally to avoid causing others that same pain, striving not to judge those around us. However, we rarely extend that same compassion and intentionality toward ourselves or the world around us. When we judge ourselves or our circumstances harshly, we limit our perspectives and close ourselves off, making it difficult to be fully present and open in the moment.
Allowing preconceived judgments to dominate our thoughts or situations can prevent us from receiving new information, new insights, and new or contrasting perspectives. These judgments often reinforce self-preservation mechanisms that resist vulnerability and hinder personal growth. In contrast, healthy and balanced assumptions and expectations enable us to enter situations with open minds, clear boundaries, and objective evaluations.
Healthy judgments take into account the perspectives of all parties involved. They are grounded in realistic expectations and encourage us to challenge our beliefs and assumptions when necessary. By doing so, we remain open to learning, foster growth, and enhance our understanding of the world around us.
Why is it important to develop objective judgments? The judgments we form after a conversation or situation can either deepen our understanding of ourselves and others or reinforce the limiting beliefs we hold. They also impact our beliefs about the future. This is where the brain’s Reticular Activating System (RAS) comes into play. The RAS acts as a filter between our conscious and subconscious minds, processing information based on what aligns with our existing beliefs.
If our subconscious beliefs are negative or limiting, the RAS will filter out information that contradicts them, leaving us stuck in a cycle of confirmation bias. Without intentional effort to challenge our thought patterns, we’ll subconsciously seek out evidence to validate our preconceived judgments, ultimately proving ourselves “right.” This can prevent growth, limit new insights, and hinder meaningful connections.
We can override this filtering process by fostering objective judgments, allowing us to question our beliefs, remain open to new perspectives, and promote personal and relational growth. How can we foster objective judgments:
Increase Self-Awareness: Reflect on biases about self and others and pause before forming judgments. Practice consistent self-reflection and take honest stock of thinking patterns.
Challenge Assumptions: Question your beliefs and seek evidence that contradicts them through reading, listening, and watching things that differ from your opinion.
Accountability: Hold yourself accountable for when you have allowed preconceived judgments to impair conversations.
Practice Active Listening: Give others your full attention and clarify their perspective(s). Seek to understand their perspective even if you disagree.
Stay Mindful: Recognize the emotional influences of the past and remain present. Process emotions before you process the event or conversation. When emotions are processed fully, events can be evaluated more objectively.
Seek Feedback: Invite input from others to uncover blind spots. Be open to all feedback.
Fostering objective judgments is essential for personal growth, meaningful relationships, and a deeper understanding of the world around us. By actively challenging our assumptions, seeking diverse perspectives, and remaining open to new information, we can break free from limiting beliefs and develop a more balanced, informed view. Objective judgments empower us to approach situations with clarity, embrace growth opportunities, and cultivate healthier interactions with others.
This week, challenge yourself to reflect on any preconceived judgments that may be limiting you and remember, you got this!
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-Dr. Jennie
I would love to hear your thoughts, ideas, or questions. Please feel free to drop those in the comments section below. Let’s talk!
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