From Stress to Strength: Strategies for Stressful Seasons

The holidays are often filled with stressful realities. From the financial strain of buying the perfect gifts to the emotional toll of navigating complex family dynamics, the season can feel overwhelming. The exhaustion of cooking and preparing for gatherings adds to the chaos. Last week, I explored the difference between endurance and resilience, and it’s worth considering which approach best suits such stressful situations. But first, how do we address the stress itself?

One major subconscious belief I often encounter with clients is this: “The more I stress, the more I care.” While it’s true that we may worry more about the things we care deeply about, stress is not a measure of how much we care. It doesn’t prove our love or commitment.

Let’s break it down by definitions:

Care

• The provision of what is necessary for the health, welfare, maintenance, and protection of someone or something.

• Serious attention or consideration applied to doing something correctly or to avoid damage or risk.

• Feeling concern or interest; attaching importance to something.

• Looking after and providing for the needs of others.

Stress

• A natural human response to a challenge or threat that can cause physical or emotional tension.

Notice the difference? Care is thoughtful and intentional, while stress is reactive. Stress often arises from perceived challenges or threats, such as:

• What if the gift I give isn’t good enough?

• What if I fail to show my loved ones how much I care?

• What I do may never be enough.

• How will I pay my bills and still give meaningful gifts?

• Being around too many people feels overwhelming.

• What if my family says hurtful things I can’t handle?

• What if I’m not good enough for my family?

The fear of failing or not being enough often sends us into autopilot, causing us to fall back on old, unhelpful behaviors and thought patterns. This stress response—whether fight, flight, or freeze—can hinder our ability to problem-solve or care effectively. It may even lead to decisions that harm our well-being or relationships.

On the other hand, care helps us move toward creative problem-solving. When we focus on care—for ourselves and others—we approach challenges with balance, prioritizing health and well-being. While fear or concern may be valid emotions in the moment, stress is often a misplaced response.

Shifting our mindset from stress to care opens the door to resilience, creativity, and intentional action. This holiday season, remember that true care is not measured by how much stress you experience but by how thoughtfully and compassionately you respond to what matters most.

Here are some strategies to help navigate holiday stress effectively:

1. Let Go of What You Can’t Control
   Focus on being enough for yourself rather than seeking validation from others. Remember, other people's inability to communicate love or appreciation often stems from their own pain, not a reflection of your worth. Avoid taking their pain or actions personally—it’s not yours to carry.

2. Set Healthy Boundaries
   Boundaries are an act of care, not indifference. They allow you to protect your energy and well-being, ensuring you can continue to show up for both yourself and others. Clear and respectful boundaries foster healthier relationships and prevent burnout.

3. Maintain Realistic Expectations
   Meet people where they are on their personal journey. If someone is navigating a hurtful or unhealthy phase in their life, expecting them to behave differently only sets you both up for frustration and disappointment. Accepting their limitations doesn’t mean condoning their behavior—it means freeing yourself from unrealistic expectations.

4. Know Your Limits
   Pay attention to your body and mind—listen to the cues that tell you when it’s time to step away. Plan ahead by scheduling limited times for visits, ensuring you don’t overextend yourself. Have a clear plan in place that demonstrates care for both yourself and others, allowing you to leave situations gracefully when needed.

5. Process Your Thoughts and Emotions
   After the holidays, events, shopping, or gatherings, take intentional time to process your experiences. Write it out in a journal or speak it out with someone you trust. Avoid falling into old patterns of stuffing, minimizing, or normalizing stress. Instead, lean into the uncomfortable conversations with yourself—and with God. Processing these emotions helps release tension, foster growth, and build resilience.

By focusing on these strategies, you can better manage holiday stress and approach the season with intention, care, and balance.

Remember, you got this!

-Dr.Jennie