Mistake vs. Bad Decision
One word I often hear during sessions with clients is "mistake." While there’s nothing inherently wrong with the word, it can act as a pause button for our growth. Our brains constantly process the language we use, and labeling something as a “mistake” can subtly strip away our power to change our behavior.
Mistakes are often seen as unintentional missteps that can happen again, like accidentally drinking caffeinated coffee when you meant to choose decaf. You might think, "Oops...hopefully, I won’t make that mistake again." But when we hurt someone else, calling it a mistake can feel dismissive. It’s a way of saying, “I didn’t mean to,” but intent doesn’t undo the harm caused—emotionally, psychologically, or physically.
Using the term “mistake” can lead us to minimize or avoid taking full responsibility for our actions. It allows us to stay in denial about choices that might be harmful to ourselves or others or that keep us from pursuing our goals.
On the other hand, framing our actions as “decisions” promotes accountability. Saying, “I made a poor decision that hurt me/you,” acknowledges our power to choose differently moving forward. Recognizing that our decisions are within our control makes it clear that simply calling something a mistake doesn’t make us less responsible. Common phrases like “everyone makes mistakes” or “nobody’s perfect” can trap us in a cycle of repeated behaviors and stagnant thinking.
Words matter! What we say to ourselves and others has a lasting effect. The language we choose creates the framework for our reality and influences those around us. By cultivating a habit of speaking words that align with our best intentions and values, we create a ripple effect that extends far beyond the moment, contributing to our empowerment, empathy, and connection.
Today, embrace the word “decision.” Ask yourself: What decisions am I making that are leading me in the right direction? Which decisions have been harmful to me or others? What new decisions can I make today to create better outcomes?
-Coach Jennie
I would love to hear your thoughts, ideas, or questions. Please feel free to drop those in the comments section below. Let’s talk!
To learn more about healthy communication and healthy conflict with others, check out our training on Professional Communication or Conflict Management or connect with one of our coaches.
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