Letting go or Holding On

Life is full of moments when we must decide what to hold on to and what to release. Letting go of dysfunction—whether it’s within a relationship, a work environment, or our personal habits—can be daunting. We often ask ourselves, What will happen if I let go? Will I be left alone? Will I find something better? These questions keep us clinging to the familiar, even if it means enduring chronic stress, anger, disappointment, or negative self-perceptions. Though these emotions are difficult, they’ve become what we know, and in some ways, that familiarity of these painful emotions can seem easier to bear than the unknown fear of change.

Holding on to dysfunction keeps us stuck in cycles of emotional pain. We may continue to blame others or reinforce negative beliefs about ourselves because that pain is familiar. But when we refuse to let go, we can’t heal. Old wounds fester, and new ones stack on top of them, creating an even heavier burden. On the other hand, letting go offers a different kind of pain—a pain that leads to healing.

Letting go of dysfunction doesn’t come without difficulty. It requires us to grieve—not just the loss of what we’re leaving behind but also the loss of the future we had hoped for and the time, emotions, and energy we have already invested. However, on the other side of this grief lies healing, growth, and new possibilities. Although the peace of letting go of chaos can be profoundly uncomfortable, letting go allows us to create healthier boundaries, gain fresh perspectives, and embrace new opportunities we didn’t even realize were out there. Change can be scary and uncomfortable, but it can also be exciting!

When we let go of things, people, or situations that are harmful to us, we open up space to grab onto something better or something different. To make meaningful change, we must take accountability for remaining in familiar yet harmful situations. By owning our decisions and choices, we empower ourselves to make new and healthier ones. But it’s often the “new” that we fear the most. New experiences, new relationships, and new opportunities can feel uncertain, which triggers our deepest fears. So, how can we move through the discomfort of letting go and embrace the potential for something new?

Here are a few strategies to help you release dysfunction and step into new possibilities:

1. Acknowledge the Fear: Recognize that fear is a natural response to change. Name your fears, whether it’s fear of being alone, fear of failure, or fear of the unknown, so you can address them head-on.

2. Grieve What You're Letting Go: Understand that it's normal to grieve, not just the loss of the dysfunctional situation, but also the dreams and expectations you had tied to it. Give yourself permission to process that loss.

3. Focus on What You Can Control: Letting go involves accepting that some things are beyond your control. Shift your focus to the aspects of your life you can influence, like your mindset, reactions, and choices.

4. Embrace Uncertainty: The fear of the unknown is powerful, but uncertainty also brings opportunity. Try reframing uncertainty as a space for new possibilities rather than as a threat.

5. Create a New Vision: Imagine what your life could look like without the dysfunction. What kind of peace, success, or fulfillment could you experience if you let go? This vision can serve as motivation to push through fear.

6. Practice Self-Compassion: Letting go is hard work, and you may stumble along the way. Be kind to yourself in the process, and recognize that healing and growth take time.

7. Seek Support: You don’t have to do this alone. Whether through friends, family, mentors, or professionals, reach out for guidance and support as you navigate letting go.

In life, letting go of dysfunction is not just an ending; it's the beginning of something new. Although the process of letting go may come with grief and fear, it ultimately clears the path for growth, healing, and new opportunities. So ask yourself: What am I holding onto that is keeping me from moving forward? What could I gain by letting it go? By embracing the discomfort of change, you unlock the door to a healthier, more fulfilling future. Be afraid and do it anyways. You will thank yourself later! You are capable of doing difficult things! You got this!

-Dr. Jennie

I would love to hear your thoughts, ideas, or questions. Please feel free to drop those in the comments section below. Let’s talk!

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