We live in complex times, and as Dr. Ramani points out in her book (Don’t You Know Who I Am), we may have shifted from simply encountering narcissistic individuals to fostering a narcissistic culture. We are more focused than ever on self-care and self-awareness, yet paradoxically, we are also experiencing unprecedented levels of depression and anxiety. Perhaps in our well-intentioned pursuit of self-care, we have overcorrected and become too inwardly focused...creating the desire only to do what we want and avoiding things that challenge us.

In doing so, we’ve lost sight of balance—life is a dance between self and others, joy and sorrow, light and dark. True self-care is not about avoiding life’s challenges or difficult people; it’s about learning and growing through them. It doesn’t shy away from uncomfortable emotions or tough situations but rather embraces them in a balanced way. Self-care doesn’t minimize or exaggerate hardship.

Completing difficult tasks, even those we dislike, helps us build humility, perseverance, focus, and integrity. On the other hand, procrastination or neglecting what needs to be done erodes trust in ourselves. Every time we finish something, we reinforce our self-worth; when we avoid it, we tell ourselves we don’t matter, reinforcing a negative self-image. Giving in to fear by saying, "I can't do that" or "I'm not good at that" becomes an excuse. A balanced mindset might instead say, "This seems difficult, but I am capable of handling hard things," or "I may not be good at this yet, but I am willing to try."

I want to be clear: I am not advocating for an unhealthy version of “pushing through,” like co-dependent behavior, taking on the responsibilities of others, or engaging in extreme behaviors like overworking, which can feed addictive thinking and lead to burnout or resentment. This is about personal growth and the value of facing the things we fear or avoid because they require effort. There’s a fundamental truth—nothing worth having comes easy, and growth is often born out of discomfort and challenge.

True self-care is about striking a healthy balance, where we prioritize our well-being without avoiding the hard work that helps us evolve. Growth requires doing hard things. Easy tasks don’t push us to develop creative problem-solving skills, discipline, or sacrifice—all of which contribute to a healthy self-image. If you find yourself avoiding difficult tasks or emotions, ask yourself why. What are you truly avoiding? What are you afraid of? Self-care isn’t about evading difficulty—it’s often about confronting it. Sometimes, the most loving thing we can do for ourselves is to push through the hard things. Real self-love involves trusting in our ability to tackle challenging things and celebrating the victories we achieve along the way.

If we never challenge our thinking, we will never grow past where we are right now. In the same way, if we only do the things we like, we will never embrace the lessons that come with sacrifice, perseverance, and problem-solving. Instead of turning down difficult things right away or avoiding taking chances, step into challenges.

Avoidance creates limits, and facing challenges removes them! Learn to push yourself past your limits. Lean into the rough stuff because that’s where the best stuff comes from! You will be surprised by what you are truly capable of and the possibilities that open up from that!

-Coach Jennie

I would love to hear your thoughts, ideas, or questions. Please feel free to drop those in the comments section below. Let’s talk!

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